Ditch the Mom Guilt

In the relentless juggling act of motherhood and entrepreneurship, there’s a lurking shadow that can suck the joy out of both roles. It’s a haunting presence that reminds us of every perceived imperfection, every missed soccer game, and every bedtime story replaced by exhaustion. 

That’s right, friend. I’m talking about Mom Guilt. It’s a weighty burden, the kind no one warns you about in the glossy pages of parenting manuals. But guess what? If you’ve ever experienced this nagging feeling, you’re certainly not alone.

In fact, this very topic was discussed during our Raney Day Design team huddle. A sweet mama team member was seeking advice about how to maintain balance between work and family. Oh, my heart goes out to her because I have battled that fight myself.

We all took turns sharing some suggestions about how to defeat that feeling of mom guilt. Some ideas included:

• Delegating tasks
• Relying on family and friends for support
• Giving yourself grace
• Reading My Blog for useful tips!

Let’s dive in and talk about some of my favorite ways to boost your boss-babe mentality and ditch the guilt!

Speak Kindly to Yourself

Think about some of those negative, self-deprecating thoughts circling your brain and ask yourself: “would I talk to my child that way?” I’m going to assume the answer is no! We have to be very careful about what we tell ourselves because when we start to entertain those negative thoughts, it causes us to spiral.

Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer your son or daughter. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and experiences setbacks. Be gentle with yourself in these moments.

Here are some ways to speak more kindly to yourself:

• Use positive affirmations
• Practice gratitude 
• Forgive yourself (everyone makes mistakes!)
• Surround yourself with positivity 
• Take care of your body
• Seek professional help if needed

Remember, speaking kindly to yourself is a habit that takes time to develop. Be patient with yourself during this process, and over time, it will become a natural and integral part of your self-care routine.

If You Feel Like Parenting is Hard, Then You’re Doing it Right

I’m sure you’ve heard that saying before, right? It’s true. It means you’re putting in the extra effort and connecting with your child in order to mold them into wonderful humans. Give yourself some grace, Mama! You are not Jesus. I know you want to have everything together, rocking life at home and work. But parenting is hard. As a mom to two beautiful (challenging) kiddos, I get it.

I’m currently reading a book called “Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be” by Dr. Becky Kennedy. 

Her theory talks about reaching in and working through what is behind a child’s challenging behavior. How they act out is oftentimes directly related to how they’re feeling inside: so there could be some unresolved emotional issues and it’s our job to help our kids regulate those feelings. (Interested? Grab your copy of “Good Inside” HERE.)

Will the tantrums disappear overnight? Probably not. But keep putting in that work, and I believe you’ll eventually see results. Just remember: trust in God, give yourself some grace and remember to take care of yourself. 
Watch the video below to discover 7 things you can do right now to add to your self-care regimen.

Get Moving!

Put on your goggles and your lab coat because I’m about to get all scientific on ya. If you’ve been following my journey, you know how much importance I place on exercising and eating nutritious foods. It’s not BS. There’s a significant amount of research supporting the idea that exercise can boost mood and contribute to overall mental well-being.

Here are 8 ways working-out benefits your body:

1. Release of Endorphins

Somebody cue Elle Woods. Remember her line from Legally Blonde? 

“Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy!” Exercise stimulates the production of endorphins, which are chemicals in the brain that act as natural painkillers and mood elevators. Endorphins are often referred to as “feel-good” hormones, and their release during exercise can create a sense of euphoria and happiness.

2. Reduction of Stress Hormones:

Physical activity can reduce the production of stress hormones, such as cortisol. Lower levels of cortisol are associated with reduced stress and anxiety, leading to an improved mood.

3. Neurotransmitter Regulation:

Exercise affects the levels of various neurotransmitters, including serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, which play key roles in regulating mood. Imbalances in these neurotransmitters are often linked to mood disorders, and exercise can help restore balance.

4. Improved Sleep:

Regular physical activity can improve the quality of sleep. Sufficient and restful sleep is crucial for emotional well-being, and exercise can help individuals fall asleep faster and enjoy deeper sleep.

5. Enhanced Self-Esteem and Confidence:

Engaging in regular exercise and achieving fitness goals can boost self-esteem and confidence. Feeling good about one’s physical abilities and appearance often translates into improved overall mood and a more positive outlook on life.

6. Distraction and Relaxation:

Exercise provides a healthy distraction from negative thoughts and worries. It can also serve as a form of relaxation, allowing individuals to clear their minds and focus on the physical sensations of movement.

7. Social Interaction:

Participating in group exercises or sports activities provides opportunities for social interaction, which is crucial for mental well-being. Social connections and support are linked to improved mood and lower rates of depression.

8. Brain Growth and Function:

Regular physical activity has been shown to promote the growth of new brain cells (neurogenesis) and improve overall brain function. A healthy brain is better equipped to cope with stress and regulate emotions.

While individual responses to exercise may vary, the overall consensus in the scientific community is that regular physical activity can have a positive impact on mood and mental health. 

It’s important to note that consistency and finding types of exercise that you enjoy are key factors in reaping the mood-boosting benefits of physical activity.

It Takes a Village

Bill Withers sang it best: “we all need somebody to lean on.” Boy, was he right. Right now, in this season of life, my husband is traveling a lot for work and I find myself relying on my village to survive. I am lucky to lean on grandparents and friends to help shuttle my children to activities. 
I know it’s daunting, but let go of that ego and ask for help! In times of need, a supportive community can step in to help. Whether it’s during illness, emergencies, or personal challenges, having a network of people to rely on ensures that your child is cared for, even when you’re unable to do so. Obviously, you need to find trustworthy, reliable people to fill your village, but once you do, it’s truly a blessing.

The key takeaway here is to remember: this feeling of mom guilt affects each and every one of us in different ways,, but we’re all in this together. You’re not alone. You’re not on an island by yourself. Reach out if you want to learn more about my process in balancing work life and family life.

Do you ever experience mom guilt? Comment below and share your suggestions on how to overcome that feeling.