What is Holding You Back from Posting on Social?
Hi. Hi. All right, Jennifer Sakowski here and this is our first coffee and bites chat. And today’s topic is all about what is holding us back on talking on social. What is it that is holding us back from sharing our promotions, more about ourselves, building that authority online? It’s if you’re like me, sometimes, I’ll say sometimes, that I’ll pull up a post and I’m getting ready to post it on my personal brand and I’m going to roll out some information or it’s a picture that I think that would add value to my audience and that I just love, and I want to put my take on it. So I get all pumped up and I pull out my phone and I have the picture and I have it all selected and I have all the tags in place. And then all of the hashtags are there and I have this quirky, fun caption. And I sit there and I look at it and then I start to overthink it. Start to wonder if anybody will find this funny as I do, or I just start tearing it apart.
And what ends up happening?
I delete it. I don’t even share it. Why? Why is that? That’s the conversation I want to have today. Why do we allow ourselves to get in the way of posting and I truly… And I struggle with this internally. For Raney Day Design, our business, I can roll that out, right? I don’t have a problem posting. I’m behind the brand. I can do it. When I step out into Jennifer Sakowski, I struggle and I have this burning desire of what I feel led to share, and I get in my own way. And it’s so convicting to talk about this because I do it and I feel it, but I also feel like I’m called to a bigger purpose. And I want to walk in that purpose of what I feel like has been God given.
And time and time again, so often I don’t post. I hold back. I’m not doing it and it’s not helping anybody. So I want to talk through this. So there is a couple of things that happen, and hopefully this resonates with you and if it doesn’t, then tell me anyways.
The first thing is it’s uncomfortable. Yeah. It feels a little icky. It’s very vulnerable to put yourself out there. You’re opening yourself up for comments, which could be positive or negative, and it’s uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable to put what’s in our head and heart out on the interwebs. And I get that, but I want to challenge you as I’m challenging myself right now, is that if you were given it and it’s truly not for you, but it’s for you to be a vehicle to share it, then you’re not doing that gift service if you’re not sharing it.
So I want to challenge you. The next time that it feels uncomfortable, sit with that uncomfortableness, be okay that it’s uncomfortable because it’s not going to kill you. It’s only going to be uncomfortable for a minute. And the more that we post and share those thoughts and feelings, the easier it’s going to get. So let’s be okay with being outside of our comfort zones together. That’s the first thing. So the first thing is being uncomfortable.
Worrying About What Others Think
The second thing I think that we worry about what other people think. My good pal, Rachel Hollis. She doesn’t know it, but we’re best friends. She has coined this phrase that the opinions of others about you are none of your business. That hits me. That hits me every time I see that quote pop up. So homegirl, Rachel, gosh I love you for that because it’s true. So oftentimes we’re so focused on what they’re going to think about us, that we allow that to interfere with our own actions.
But at the end of the day, it’s none of our business. They’re going to think we have no control over what others think about us. We have no control how they show up. The only thing that I can control is how I show up online and dang it, I want to show up. And I hope that you want to show up because you have a gift to share. So here’s our challenge in this point. Recognize that other people’s opinions are none of your business and you have an obligation to show up. If you were given that message, that word, then it’s your obligation to share it because you’re not doing it any service. That’s a gift.
I’m Just Not Good Enough
Number three, since I’m the only person in the room, I’m going to keep flowing, is I worry that what I’m saying, who I am, I’m just not good enough. That hurts. That hurts to say it out loud. Does that hurt you? Because it hurts me to recognize that maybe I’m just not good enough. Maybe I’m not good enough for this message, for this purpose, for this job. Maybe what I’m saying is it’s not going to hit mark, so it’s just not there. Maybe I shouldn’t share it.
So as I’m talking to you, I’m talking to myself because I can see myself and it hurts to say these things because it’s true. Sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough. Man can I come into a business and help them rock out their marketing and talk about lead gen and bring in their customers through and ignite a fire in them that they’re so excited to go capture that lead and find them and to launch that product? Yes. That fuels me and I can do that. When I step out on the platform of Jennifer Sakowski and want to share with you how much I love you, and that being mama is hard and start to encourage the people who follow me and just want to be a light and be open and authentic.
Sometimes I feel like maybe it’s just not good enough. Maybe I’m not adequate. How do we bust through that? How do we work through our own feelings of inadequacy? This is how I self-talk myself. I’m going to open up and let you in on how I overcome this. I’m taking imperfect action to doing it anyway, is because I get back to that point to where I realize that this is a nagging desire that has been slowly burning and churning and growing over the last 10 plus years. This is from overcoming obstacles in relationships, such as a divorce and broken heartness and a walk of faith and raising children and trying to lead a business and be a help mate to my husband.
There’re so many feelings of just hardship that I want to share. I go back there because I look back at the young woman that I was going through divorce and feeling broken, unworthy of love, not capable of receiving love. Maybe I just wasn’t lovable. Maybe I wasn’t good enough. I thought I was doing something right. It just wasn’t working. But I go back to that person who was looking everywhere else and looking, and then just diving into her Bible and trying to pull from any source of positive, loving, kick me in my pants to pull me up from my bootstraps and just take one step forward. I was looking for that help, that outside help. I didn’t find it. There wasn’t any.
And so I want to be that source for the next person who is struggling in their marriage or struggling in their relationships, or just wanting to get their act together at home, I go there. I go to why that’s all. I go back to why. Because if our why is not greater than our fears, then we are going to fail. It’s not going to happen. We’re going to keep coming back to this. So you’ve got to dig into your why. Why do you need to do this? Why do you need to deliver this content? Why do you need to show up? Because if that why, that burning desire is so much greater than the uncomfortable in this, I promise you, you will be able to take one foot in front of the other and hit publish, because that’s how I have to make it.
I have to get gritty. That’s why I was talking to some coworkers today, and they’re like, “I don’t know how you keep your house together. I don’t know how you keep it.” Because I got to get gritty with myself. I have to give my own self some tough love and to say to get my head out on my butt and get busy. Yeah. You might be tired. Well, you can rest tomorrow. Get up, or, yeah, I don’t want to pull up on that project or I don’t want to go do that load of laundry or I don’t… For me, it all intertwines. It’s not working… It just flows. And I just have to tell myself, I have to get angry with myself. I’m like, “No. You are not going to sit here.” You have to be disciplined with yourself.
So that’s where I challenge you. Get gritty. Get gritty with yourself and get to the point to where you can lean for your why. Whether it’s you have to paste it up in front of your wall. Maybe you need to put it on your computer. Wherever you can remind yourself of what that why is, so that way you can keep showing up, do it. Those are the biggies for me. Those, I feel like are what holding me back. And so as I’m recording this and putting this message out there, here’s my challenge to you as I’m speaking to myself right now. Is that we are not going to let others, we’re not going to let ourselves get in the way from our mission. That we are going to take imperfect action, and it’s okay to be afraid. It’s okay, but it’s not okay to be there long. It’s not okay to live in fear because stuff is going to happen.
This world as we know it. I mean, we’re in 2020, almost over. It’s been hard, and there’s a lot of fear. Every time my husband and my kids leave this house, I worry about them. But all I know at the end of the day is that I plead the blood of Jesus over them. I pray them children up. I pray my husband up and that we move on because we got a mission to accomplish. And dang it, will I not stand at that pearly gate and to say I did all that I could do. I hope you found this helpful. This is our first coffee and bites. We’ll see what happens next month. Have a great day.
I’m a recovering perfectionist embracing the mess. I’m here to pull back the curtain on my day-to-day, thoughts, struggles and triumphs. I hope you can find comfort in knowing if I can, YOU CAN!
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